Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
