I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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