I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
