you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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