He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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