Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
