The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
