my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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