these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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