If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
