My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
