so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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