they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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