i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
