I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My liver is preforming stress tests.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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