Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
my poor anus
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
