what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
