It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize