Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize