She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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