it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize