They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
