I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize