worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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