he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it was like eating out sand paper
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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