I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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