Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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