Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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