the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i've created a new STD.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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