Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
