if i can run in heels then i can drive
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize