I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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