The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
