no, he came in my armpit
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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