Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize