tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
