She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
