maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
