Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
