I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize