Yo dont text me then not text me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
