winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
