you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
