sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize