So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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