omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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