I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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