im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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