i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
