Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
