Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
