You work out of a Hotel?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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