Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
