fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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