I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
