So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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