I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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