So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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