She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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