Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
